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I’m actually surprised this was in the front at Wal-Mart. #lgbt #equality #marriageequality #ssm
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Love is love. #lgbt #equality #SSM #marriageequality #prop8 #DOMA #SupremeCourt #love #red
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Dear hypothetical gay son… by Johnn Kinnear
I ran across this letter on Reddit this morning. It is from a father disowning his gay son. It broke my heart. It’s not the first time that I’ve seen something like this. Living in Utah, it’s a pretty common story. I had friends experience it first hand in high school. This morning was the first time I’ve run across it since becoming a dad. My son is living in his mom’s belly, so obviously we don’t know his sexual orientation. Still, the letter I read this morning made me wonder what my letter would say if the news that my son was gay ended up being a surprise. So here it is:
Dear Hypothetically Gay Son,You’re gay. Obviously you already know that, because you told us at the dinner table last night. I apologize for the awkward silence afterwards, but I was chewing. It was like when we’re at a restaurant and the waiter comes up mid-bite and asks how the meal is, only in this metaphor you are the waiter and instead of asking me about my meal you said you were gay. I don’t know why I needed to explain that. I think I needed to find a funny way to repeat the fact that you’re gay… because that is what it sounds like in my head right now. “My son is gay. My son is gay. My son is gay.”Let me be perfectly clear. I love you. I will always love you. Since being gay is part of who you are, I love that you’re gay. I’m just trying to wrap my head around the idea. If you sensed any sadness in my silence last night, it was because I was surprised that I was surprised. Ideally, I would have already known. Since you were an embryo, my intent has always been to really know you for who you are and not who I expect you to be. And yet, I was taken by surprise at last night’s dinner. Have I said “surprise” enough in this paragraph? One more time… surprise!OK. Let’s get a few things straight about how things are going to be.
- Our home is a place of safety and love. The world has dealt you a difficult card. While LGBT people are becoming more accepted, it is still a difficult path to walk. You’re going to experience hate and anger and misunderstandings about who you are out in the world. That will not happen here. You need to know with every fiber of who you are that when you walk in the front door of your home you are safe and you are loved. Your mother is in complete agreement with me on this.
- I am still, as always, your biggest defender. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re any less capable of taking care of/defending yourself. That said, if you need me to stand next to you, in front of you, write letters, sign petitions, advocate, or anything else, I am here. I will go to war for you.
- If you’re going to have boys over, you now need to leave your bedroom door open. Sorry kiddo. Thems are the breaks. I couldn’t have girls in my room with the door shut, you don’t get to have boys.
- You and I are going to revisit that talk we had about safe sex. I know it’s going to be awkward for both of us, but it is important. I need to do some research first, so let’s give it a few weeks. If you have questions or concerns before then, let me know.
That’s enough for now. Feel free to view this letter as a contract. If I ever fail to meet any of the commitments made herein, pull it out and hold me to account. I’ll end with this: You are not broken. You are whole, and beautiful. You are capable and compassionate. You and your sister are the best things I have ever done with my life, and I couldn’t be more proud of the people you’ve become.Love,
Dad
P.S. Thanks to a few key Supreme Court decisions and the Marriage Equality act of 2020 you’re legally able to get married. When I was your age, that was just an idea. Pretty cool huh?- I’d like to thank Reddit user “RegBarc” for bravely sharing that letter. I’m sorry for the pain your dad caused by writing it. If you’re ever in Salt Lake City, you’re welcome at our dinner table any time.
What would your letter say? Chime in on the comments.
::UPDATE:: I think it is safe to say that this post has gone viral. I am joyously overwhelmed by the response we’ve received. Just in case this never happens again, I want to try and do something that makes a difference. If you want to help spread the love monetarily, the Utah Pride Center always needs help. You can click the “donate” button on their front page. Here is a little bit about their mission. Aside from donating in the past, I am not associated with them in ANY way. I just know that “fame” (ironic quotation marks intentional) can be fleeting, and “internet fame” even more so. So if you’d like to help, please do. If not, no worries. From my family to yours, thank you. thank you, thank you for all of the love.
This is so inspiring, heart-warming, and just all around AMAZING. THIS is a real father. THIS is how a father should treat his child. THIS is love.
Dads and future dads, take a fucking note! <3
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Gay=Sin re-edit by Matthew Brown.
Beautiful. Moving. Everyone needs to watch this.
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The Gay RIghts Movement by Ryan James Yezak
Everyone should watch this video. Truly inspiring and beautiful.
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Shit Homophobic People Say.
I’m laughing at how ridiculous these statements are…
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If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.
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My university is becoming more trans* inclusive! It’s a step in the right direction!
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Ok, so here are the final, and my favorite photos from day 1. The first is of a very upset gay man who was there when the woman made the comment of “Gays adopting children is child abuse.” He, and the majority of those around, were royally pissed off by this statement. On man, who was adopting by a straight couple, asked the woman, “So, you would have rather me stayed my mother, who was a crack addict and a WHORE, instead of with a LOVING gay couple?” The woman’s response was, “YES! Because that’s how God intended it to be. Your mother gave birth to you, not two homosexuals.” This young made had previously made the comment of, “I am not really for homosexuality, but I would NEVER discriminate against them.” It was great seeing how many people at UALR are actually queer friendly. Anyway, this young man go so upset by the woman’s comment that he had to be pulled away from the entire situation.
The second photo is of a young woman who was crying and furious that these people were on campus spreading their hate and giving Christianity a bad name. Her comment, “You’re turning people away from God and Christ! How can you come out here and do this thinking that you’re converting people?” She actually had to be restrained by a few people.
The final photo from day 1 is of another member of our Alliance, Alyss. Here, you see her with her sign that read, “Don’t judge, or you too will be judged. Matthew 7:1”
So there you have it, this was day one of the crazy, hateful experience I had.
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Ok, so the final photos for the entire setting is mainly of signs and those of us who refused to let the hate mongers preach without knowing we were not going to tolerate it. No matter what was said, no matter how many people were around us, we stood strong and refused to not let our voices be heard.
Together, we fought for tolerance, equality, and most of all, LOVE! It was astounding how many people at our school are queer friendly, especially being in Arkansas. Though it did get heated for a little bit, the Alliance did not let the haters get to us. Whether they said we were living a lie, going straight to hell, or incapable of love, we stood strong and made sure we were heard by ALL!
This concludes the photo series of my experience with Brother Jed and company, but I will leave you with a few of the quotes I heard over the two days.
“Masturbation is the 1st step to homosexuality!”
“College students worship the almighty condom God!”
“Condoms are instruments of evil! Condoms are used for premarital sex, so therefor, they are evil themselves! Married people should not use condoms!”
“Sex is strictly for procreating, as are women. Women must be obedient to their husband and give them children and do nothing, but housework!”
“Purple is the color of homosexuals!”
“Bigotry is a homosexual word, created by homosexuals!”
“Gays adopting children is child abuse!”
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